* There is pop music; there is bad pop music; there is truly dire, terrible pop music; and then there is Euro-pop. Unembarrassed by the syrupy, sentimental crooning of such continental heroes as Johnny Hallyday and Caroline Muller, or perhaps just blithely unaware of their sheer staggering awfulness, the Europeans parade their lack of musical talent for all to see in the annual Eurovision Song Contest, a veritable Olympic Games of vocal vapidity.
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This year the kitschfest was won for the first time by Finland, represented by the rock group Lordi. This gave newspapers the unprecedented opportunity to print the phrase: “Finns celebrated on the streets of Helsinki.” Lordi is also the first “monster group” to win the coveted prize. They dress up as orcs and their prize-winning lyrics go: “Wings on my back, I got horns on my head. My fangs are sharp and my eyes are red.” Perhaps it sounds better in Finnish.